Separation is better than a house where there is neither intimacy nor mercy

Question

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

I am a married woman and I am about to deliver a baby. The problem is I married my husband against my free will. Few months passed since our marriage and disputes began to show up, therefore, I decided to leave my husband and go back to live with my parents. Could you kindly advise? It is worth mentioning that I cannot live properly with my husband because I do not love him. Moreover, I cannot cheat on him and go back to live with him again.

We ask Allah for success.

Answer

All praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and those who follow him:

The Shari`ah prohibited forcing a woman to marry and demanded her consent to validate marriage where it is full of benefits. Furthermore, her consent achieves the legitimacy of the contract and regulating the benefits between the spouses to beget children and raise them well. This cannot be achieved if there is hatred between the spouses, it may lead to divorce, which we have already explained in the counsel of "marriage under compulsion"

When referring to the mentioned counsel, you shall know if the contract was done under compulsion and without your consent, marriage will be corrupt because the Prophet (peace be upon him) prohibited to marry a virgin without her consent. In addition, it is contradictory to the command of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him), so the contract must be annulled by mutual agreement or by court.

However, if you agreed to and approved what your guardians did, marriage will be valid. As for the controversies that arise among you, perhaps they are due to your discontentment with him in the first place or because the difference of natures, habits, and behavior, or because the lack of love. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allâh brings through it a great deal of good." [Surat An-Nisa': 19].

Hence, Allah (may He be Exalted) guided us to observe patience even if we do not like them, so you have to follow some procedures to maintain your new family. Let it be known that reconciliation is better than separation because hearts, feelings, and love change easily. This is a perceptible matter, so do not give up at the first prodrome of hatred and decide to end marriage and break up a new family because your young baby has nothing to do with your disputes. Islam has guided us, when we fear disagreement, to allow the reasonable members of the family to interfere to end these disputes calmly and away from psychological emotions and sensory sediments. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "If you fear a breach between them twain (the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbitrators, one from his family and the other from hers; if they both wish for peace, Allâh will cause their reconciliation. Indeed Allâh is Ever All-Knower, Well-Acquainted with all things." [Surat An-Nisa': 35].

If reconciliation does not work out in ending disputes, gathering the family again, and healing the inharmonious hearts, separation will be better than a house where there is neither intimacy nor mercy. Such a house will be filled with hatred and disagreement, then separation becomes the best solution as Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "But if they separate (by divorce), Allâh will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty." [Surat An-Nisa': 130]. Allah (may He be Exalted) promised both spouses to give them out of His Favor and Ample benevolence; indeed He is the Disposer of His Servants' affairs and He is the only to be sought for help and reliance.