Sex through Messenger

Question

I am a married woman and I have a child. My husband is very kind but a while ago I found a conversation on his computer and I found a conversation about homosexuality on an e-mail that I do not know. One of them was asking for someone to have sodomy with while the other answers gladly as being the object. They were exchanging looks through the camera and searching for women for sexual intercourse.

I confronted my husband with these facts, but he denied and swore that his computer and e-mail are hacked. I know he does not have but one e-mail and I know it.

I know that the conversation was not his. It is worth mentioning that he is keen to Salah even the witr (odd number Salah) and Qiyam-ul-Layl (voluntary night prayer), and he is generous and well-mannered. I had not noticed any change on him recently but sometimes he has phone calls which he does not answer; what should I do? I am afraid to treat him unjustly and I am also afraid that the conversation would be his; how should I act? I am in confusion.

Could you kindly tell me what to do? How should I make sure of his truthfulness without embarrassing him? And if that conversations belong to him, how should I face him? I fear Allah and His Punishment; what should I do? It is worth mentioning that our sexual relationship is very good, could you help me because I am about to collapse.

Answer

Praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah,his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.

As long as your husband is well-mannered as you mentioned and you did not notice anything suspicious about him, I advise you to accept his excuse, especially the excuse you mentioned is acceptable even though it is rare. Those hackers have gone so far; they do not fear Allah, and do not feel shy from a person. Therefore, their senses died, their self-surveillance and social surveillance died.

So,leave confusion and worry and live your life and show more strength because you are the guard of the castle! Leave aside the matter of collapse and assume the truthfulness of your husband, however, be always on alert without showing that to him because the matter needs to the help of Allah, good will, patience, and intelligence in order to apply a rescue plan because of a minor possibility of committing that sin. No matter how religious a person is, if he looks forward to trials, he will fell therein. This is not the end of road because Allah forgives all sins no matter how big they are. Allah loves a person who is tried but always repents as was reported by Imam Ahmad on the authority of Ali. Know that every person commits a mistakes and the best people are those who repent as was reported from the Prophet (peace be upon him). It was also reported from Imam Muslim on the authority of Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger (peace be upon him) said: "If you were not to commit sins, Allah would have swept you out of existence and would have replaced you by another people who have committed sin, and then asked forgiveness from Allah, and He would have granted them pardon."

You have to do as follows:

1-Frequent invocation to your husband with safety and protection against trial and evils.

2-Draw near to him and let him feel that nearness to accept from you and to let him approach you. Capture the heart of your husband with love, observe patience, and hope for the divine reward, for Allah (Glory be to Him) shall not waste the reward of the good-doers.

3-Be keen to keep his status in your sight because the collapse of his status will be of bad consequences which pushes a husband to commit sins publicly without paying attention to his wife nor to anyone else.

4-Show him that you believe his words and his computer is really hacked by those who like to harm others.

5-Help him to promote himself in the degrees of righteous people indirectly and be sure that truthfulness has a great effect in the success of that relationship.

6-Try to find a righteous companionship to your husband such as one of the relatives or friends.

7-Be with him during his surfing on the internet and try to attract his attention by the best decoration, and the best words and actions. Let him enjoy your presence by sharing his interests and hobbies by preparing what he likes. He may get annoyed by sitting with him in the beginning but observe patience whatever he does and bit by bit he will get used to that.

I know that you may find it hard but what you both shall gain will be much better. No matter the hardships and sacrifices are do not get bored and always be nice.

We ask Allah (may He be Exalted) to make things easy for you, remove your worry, and destine good for you. Amen!