My husband and his intimate relations

Question

I have been married some years ago after a love story. I got to know my husband in collage and waited until the end of the study although better grooms proposed to me. After marriage, he changed because of his new job. His tempers have changed recently because his boss loves him but I did not know how far that relation was. I doubt that they had intimate relationship because she is divorced.

I have read some of the letters which my husband was sending to her, saying: I love you and I am in dire need to you. My husband is handsome and when I say to him to leave this job, he says: I am happy that my female colleagues love me and I am happy with the new post and money, so why should I leave the job? Let it be known that he works at school and that woman is the headmaster and the rest of women are teachers. When I quarrel with him, he says: Goodbye! I am in no need to you because one thousand women desire me. What should I do with him?

Answer

In fact, the main reason for husbands' cheat on their wives is troubles in their marital relation, so search in yourself for the defects and exert efforts in fixing them. In the same time, rebuke your husband for these relations, and follow these points:

1-Dress up for your husband and treat him kindly.

2-Force your husband to think about you all the time.

3-Know the things which your husband loves and do them frequently and avoid the things he hates.

4-Sit with your husband and speak frankly with him to know the positives and the negatives in your relationship, and work to reinforce positives and diminish negatives.

5-Busy your husband with the matters of your children, make him solve them, and remind him that he is the role model, so they should see him in the best image and they should see every good action and saying from him.

6-You have to bring some useful Islamic tapes andDa`wahbooks which speak about the marital rights and the bad consequences resulting from ignoring them.

7-You have to strengthen the relationship between you and Allah so as to reform all your affairs.

8-Send messages to those women whom your husband knows [A message from unknown sender] that their matter has been exposed and if they do not stop, they shall be exposed in public; you should do the same with your husband.

9-You have to be calm, control yourself, and be wise when dealing with him. Remind him of your love, your children, and your future. Beware of the break down and scolding, but you have to be good, treat him kindly, and deny what he did. Explain your love and pity for him and for the family.

10-Tell some of your family who are characterized by wisdom in dealing with these matters or some of his family such as a father, a mother, a brother, or someone else who has a positive effect on him.

11-If your husband persists and shows stubbornness, it is up to you whether to continue marriage or ask for divorce.

12-Keep to invoking Allah (Glory be to Him) to guide you to the best solution and to reform your affairs.